Crush on Your Best Friend -Take 2

by Aishwarya Sharma on September, 2009

in Relations

Best Friends

He’s smart, intelligent, handsome, cute, talented, sweet, understanding, sensitive, confident, and despite all this he’s so humble, and down to earth!

Oh my goodness! What’s happening to me? Have I gone mad? Am I in love? Am I going to die?

Day and night I’m thinking about this boy in my music class, I’ve started listening to romantic songs the whole day round. Every moment, he’s on my mind. I can’t get him out of my head. I see him in my dreams; I imagine both of us together in love.

To sum it all up, I have a crush, I have a fever! I’m freaking out!

While calling any boy’s name, I mistakenly speak out his name. I don’t think of anyone except him. I’ve even started forgetting my favourite actor because of him. I smile unnecessarily; miss him when he’s late for the classes. I can’t sleep at nights because I’m, for most of the time, thinking about him.

But what next? My friend knows about the whole business. It’s a very dicey situation. What does he think about me? What if he comes to know about this? What if he had a girlfriend? What if I can’t forget him, and keep thinking about him? What will he think of me if he comes to know about this?

Phew! I’m confused. What next?

I’m feeling guilty. Guilty because we’ve shared such an amazing friendship and it’s going to collapse because of such feelings that are actually not in my control.

Even if we didn’t know each other, then too I’d feel really embarrassed. How can I think like this? What’s wrong with me?

But is it my fault that I’ve started liking someone? Is this experience not a part of the transient phase I’m going through? Is it wrong that feelings are not totally in my control, and it’s getting difficult for me to manage my feelings?

If I keep everything to myself, I’ll be getting really agitated, and would explode someday.

Should I get a counsellor to work it out? Should I talk to a teacher? That’d be weird.

But, I don’t want to depend on counsellors always for sorting out my life. I need to be really cool and calm while dealing with this situation. Let me think about it.

First of all, I need to assess the temperament and mentality of my crush. Is he a kind of person who likes to mock and laugh at everyone’s situations? Is he short tempered? Will he be able to understand my problem?

Not all boys are the same. But I really feel that he’s a nice boy who’s really sensitive and understanding, he gets along very well with people, he’s very mature while dealing with situations, as I have observed. Having considered all this, what is my conclusion? Should I share this with him? I don’t want him to know this by someone else, as this might ruin the whole relationship that I share with him. I think I’ve made a choice. I will tell this to him. I will clarify everything. I’m ready to face the consequences because I genuinely feel that he’s an understanding person.

The next day was the judgement day. I waited for him at my music class. He came. After our class, I told him to wait, “Please meet me after the class. I want to talk to you, it’s really important.” I said.

The moment came and he was standing in front of me. My wait was over. I walked towards him with my heart thumping madly, and my face all covered with fear, and nervousness. I started. “Dear ABC, I want you to be absolutely calm and cool headed while listening to what I’m saying. Please forgive me, and understand me”. I paused for some seconds, and finally gathered up the courage to speak. “Ok, I have a crush on you.” [I finally said it!] “I’m really sorry. We shared an amazing friendship, and because of some negative feelings of mine, which I failed to control, our friendship’s ruined. I’ve not been able to sleep for the past few days because of my guilt of having such feelings for you. But trust me, it was not in my control, I’m sorry ABC.” I was surprised to find the same calm expression on his face.

He came towards me, and replied, “I really respect you Aishwarya for the candidness, and openness you had with me. I’m really happy you shared this with me, and you were so frank with me. I know the kind of atmosphere you are in, [I study in an all girl’s school!] and I’m really full of respect and admiration for you. It happens with everyone at this age. You don’t have to be sorry. My friendship stands on three pillars: Love, Trust, and Honesty. And you have stood up to these pillars. Don’t worry. Our friendship will not be affected by all this. Everything will be normal, trust me.”

I was amazed to see ABC’s sensitivity at this situation. I was surprised to find a boy, imagine, a boy, with so much of sensitivity and understanding. I’m proud of my choice.

But, let me share this with you. I could have never imagined sharing this with any other boy in the music class.

I could have probably taken help of a counsellor in that case. Not all boys are like ABC. Had it been some other boy other than ABC, I probably needed to think a lot before sharing this problem with him. Maybe he’d never understand, blast off at me, make fun of me, or try to get physical! It seems weird, but you never know! I have to make this choice, thinking of the consequences. Professional help was an elixir, a Philosopher’s stone for me in case of any fix. I strictly need expert guidance in such situations because maybe in certain issues, I’m too immature, inexperienced, and sensitive while dealing with the situation.

Maybe things wouldn’t move on further, [as I wanted them to!] but then, we’re really good friends and I am in a relationship wherein I’m in my best comfort level, I share an open, frank, and a wonderful relationship with a person, and I’m not regretting anything. I don’t think it’d be cool for me if I have a so- called boyfriend girlfriend relationship with a person in which there nothing except complication and problem for me. A boy and a girl can have a really beautiful and healthy relationship, which is sometimes even more successful than boyfriend girlfriend relationships.

But I’ve realized the fact that it’s nothing wrong to be infatuated. This is the age to be. I should relax, and sort out my problems in an intelligent manner, taking professional help whenever needed, rather than being stupid enough to ruin relationships as well as my image!

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