My Agony

by Aishwarya Sharma on November, 2008

in Diary of A Teen

It was a really bad day for me. I was unhappy, disappointed, disheartened, and distraught. I lost the Inter House Debate, had a fight with my friend, was thrown out of the singing competition, and had an argument with the teacher. To sum it up, it was a real disaster for me. I felt as if it’s the end of the world.

Yet, I had this pinching feeling. Even when I felt defeated, I was struggling within. There was a tempest, a turmoil going inside my heart. I believed that it was the end, and still I felt it wasn’t. A storm of conflicting emotions was going on within my achy heart.

I felt a tremor, a gush of current inside my body. I sobbed for a minute, but could not do that again. I wondered: if I cry, I’d be giving my remote control into everybody’s hand, everyone, who hurt me. And I’ll surely never want to face such a situation. I’d hate to be controlled by people or influences that are responsible for my unhappiness, and disappointment. I surely can’t do that.

Then what? What is it actually that I should do? I know I have a choice, the power to be in their control or mine. They wanted me to be unhappy, that’s why they did nasty things to me. In this way, they wanted to establish control over me. But I don’t want that. I am well acquainted with the fact that no one can change me but myself.

I will be hopeful, optimistic, and determined to start it all over. I know that there will be even worse things that’ll come my way. I will be strong, I don’t have to; I will.

I will manage my situations; respond to them intelligently and smartly. I will be strong and bold while dealing with them.

It’s not the end of the world. Everyday brings with it a new chapter, a new experience, a new chapter. I should have the faith, the hope, and the fortitude.

It’s my life, my decisions, my future, my experiences, my actions, and my time. Life comes with its dose of sweet and bitter experiences but every experience gives me a new lesson to learn and a pathway to follow. Subsequently, I learn to be more mature in dealing with situations. Therefore, I have to be wise and positive. I’m not a child now. I can be responsible for myself. I can be more optimistic, hopeful, cheerful, positive, sanguine, and affirmative.

I can’t change the past. So why should I lament about it? Why should I even think about it? I have many positive things coming my way. I’m learning, I’m progressing, and I’m growing. I should leave my agony behind and look forward to a bright future and gear up to fight with all my problems and emerge victorious. It’s only then that I overcome my sorrow, agony, and grief and become wise, and strong.

Now I’ve got the answer to my agony, and I’ve also learnt how to get over it!

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